


All I Want

by Plastic_crowns



Category: Naruto
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Angst, Hurt/Comfort, M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-06-02
Updated: 2020-07-28
Packaged: 2021-03-03 19:08:55
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 3,998
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24500578
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Plastic_crowns/pseuds/Plastic_crowns
Summary: Colors. Colors is all Sasuke wanted to see.
Relationships: Uchiha Sasuke/Uzumaki Naruto
Comments: 14
Kudos: 50





	1. Colors

He was an array of colors. _Gold, orange, blue._ Sometimes a fierce bright red that paled to pink and then white, a blank slate to start all over once more. It always amazed him as he watched the boy in his class make a fool of himself day after day, the colors flashing before his eyes blinding him.

He was your typical prankster that always wanted to get the classroom to burst into laughter just because it brought him the slightest bit of attention for a good ten minutes. In a way he was the sound of thunder or maybe he was the lighting strike that flooded the sky for a brief moment before disappearing again, the only sound that gave any warning of what was to come was his booming voice that exploded in laughter.

How could someone be so full of life? Did he sparkle in everyone’s eyes like he did to Sasuke? Did everyone else have trouble pulling their gaze away from him like he did? The days that he didn’t show up for class on account of having a cold made the day go by at a grueling pace and Sasuke wanted to slam his head into the desk in front of him in agony. How could one single person control so much of a classroom that everyone seemed miserable when he didn’t show for the third day in a row?

“Sasuke Uchiha please report to the office.” The announcement sounded in the classroom and suddenly all eyes were on him. He hated when eyes were on him. It made his skin crawl and he could never tell what people wanted from him. _Why are they staring?_

Slowly he stood up and picked his bag up from the floor. He walked out of the classroom going down the quiet hallway to the front office. As he pushed the door open and stepped inside, he froze. Why was his older brother here? He should be in his college class right now. His brother never missed a single day. Not even when he was sick.

“Sasuke I need you to listen to me closely.” His brother stepped forward placing a hand on his shoulder.

The rest of his words faded into the air, it was as if Sasuke had lost his hearing, his sight, every single one of his senses died and faded away. How could this be? How could any of this be? It was just a bad dream, right? They were all liars. Even his older brother that constantly ignored him and pushed him away to focus on his own studies was in fact, _a big fat liar_.

“I’m so sorry I know you must be…”

Sasuke took a step back and looked up into his brother’s eyes, they were bloodshot and tears were slowly falling down his face as he reached out another hand towards Sasuke as if trying to comfort him. What did he need comfort for? He didn’t because this was just a bad dream and he was trapped in it. Soon he would wake up and be getting ready for school.

“They’re gone Sasuke…our parents…”

After that day…Sasuke never saw color again.


	2. Hush

The world sounded muffled. It was as if everyone were speaking underwater and Sasuke couldn’t make sense of a single word. The faces that looked down at him with tears in their eyes as they spoke what could only be their condolences felt like some hazy fever dream. He blinked, once, twice…and nothing. A hand was placed on his shoulder and he turned to look up at his brother giving the couple in front of them a warm smile and a quick bow before they walked away.

Sasuke rolled his eyes and shrugged the hand off his shoulder. It felt like it was crushing him, weighing him down. He couldn’t handle it. Why did it feel like suddenly…out of nowhere…so much pressure was placed upon him? He didn’t want to be here anymore. He _couldn’t_ be here anymore. He needed to get away. How can you expect someone to stand for an hour straight while people walk up to you crying about people they never fully knew or understood?

He took a step forward pushing past the couple that had started to approach them sniffling to suppress their tears. It made his stomach turn and he eyed the exit sign above the door that read _alarm will sound_ and quickly pushed his way through it. A high pitch shrill sounded as he stepped into the grass and he heard the loud crash of the metal door shutting behind him. He could finally hear again.

Slowly he turned around and listened to the sound of the alarm. It was the only sound he felt he could hear clearly. It was loud, migraine inducing even. He let his eyes close as the alarm vibrated within him. It felt easier to breathe as he focused on the single sound that was ringing so clear in his head.

“What are you doing?”

Sasuke froze at the sound of the voice behind him. He knew that voice, he would recognize it anywhere. As he turned around, his heart quickening its pace, and he stilled. No one…was there? How? Why? He shook his head in disbelief. Had he lost his mind? Or was this just…a dream? No…it wasn’t fair! If this was his dream then _he_ should be here! Those colors should be blinding him! But instead…all he could see were the tree limbs blowing in the wind, their color had faded as well. Why had everything faded away? Did life just vanish from the world the moment your parents die?

“Sasuke.”

He let out a small breath of air and turned around to meet his brother’s gaze giving him a small shrug. He didn’t know why he did it. He had no words to express his actions and the chaos he had just caused everyone inside.

“We’ll be leaving soon, why don’t you go wait in the car?” Itachi reached into his pockets and pulled the keys out holding them out to Sasuke. “Give me ten more minutes.” He turned his back and walked around the building to the front disappearing from sight.

Sasuke walked through the grass looking up at the sky that was darkening by the minute. A storm was coming and he frowned hearing the thunder rumble in the distance. He tightened his fingers around the keys feeling them dig into his palm the small prick of pain grounding him. He was unable to take his eyes off the sky. Another rumble sounded and then a small trickle of rain hit his cheeks rolling down his face. It felt nice and finally he let his eyes close as the sky opened releasing the heavy rain pouring down around him.

He always found rain an annoyance but today…today he reveled in it. Time passed at an increasing pace and next thing he knew he was being grabbed by the shoulder a voice calling out to him as the keys were ripped from his hand. The car door opened and he was pushed inside.

“You’re going to catch a cold standing out in the rain Sasuke.” Itachi scowled as he got into the driver’s seat looking over at him. The sound of the rain hitting the car was almost like a sweet lullaby and Sasuke let his head rest against the window feeling the cold glass against his soaked face. “What were you even thinking? You haven’t spoken a word since…can’t you just talk to me? Say one word to me? Anything?” Itachi’s voice cracked. He sounded like he was going to break and Itachi didn’t break. Ever.

“It feels like the color has been stripped away from everything and I can’t see…I can’t hear…everything is muffled…” Sasuke let the words tumble from his lips and instantly regretted it the moment he looked over at Itachi’s face. His brother’s face, which was normally devoid of emotion, was now filled with so much sadness it was overflowing with tears running down his pale cheeks. Instead of giving Sasuke a reply, he turned towards the road and cranked the car up driving them both away.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading. These chapters will start to get longer soon I promise.


	3. Smother

Water. Water was suffocating and it felt wonderful at the same time. Lowering your head under the warmth and opening your mouth letting out a scream that no one could hear. Nothing but the water could feel your cries and agony as you wished for something to take you away. Take you far away.

The colors would never return, it couldn’t. Not when the one person that let you see the beauty of the world just up and left without warning. Being ripped away from the small town you both knew by heart. He hated this day. He hated it so much and Sasuke just wanted to scream. Scream where no one could hear him. Where no one could disturb him.

_“Everyone please say goodbye to Naruto. Today is his last day here, he will be moving away with his parents and starting school in another city!”_

The words had shocked Sasuke, shook him to his core. First his parents had died in a tragic accident and then…then finally when he was ready to come back to school those were the first words that sounded in his ears. It was the first time he had seen him in weeks. And the colors that he had been dying to see for so long during those long agonizing weeks were ripped away from him in a matter of minutes. The world turning a dull grey Sasuke had grown to fear.

The day hadn’t even started and everyone was suddenly crying and blubbering saying how much they would miss him. Miss the joy he brought everyone. Hugs were given, cards were given, numbers were exchanged and when those bright sky-blue eyes met Sasuke’s…he looked away. He couldn’t bear it. It hurt too much. He was losing everything. How as that fair?

_I hate everything._

He closed his eyes that were burning from the water. His air was depleted and his throat was raw. The world was out to punish him, punish him for a crime he must have committed without memory. It wasn’t right, nothing was right.

Fire. It felt like his lungs were now on fire and he gasped water filling his chest causing his body to jolt out of the water coughing and sputtering like a fool. Such a fool he was. His pale fingers gripped the side of the tub as he hacked up water. When he could breathe again, he looked up at the ceiling the water he was covered in concealing the tears that fell down his cheeks.

_I would follow you…just for another chance. Another chance to see those colors again._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Short update but it just felt right to end it right there. I have the next part typed up already so I'll be posting that either tomorrow or the following day. I would love to hear what you thought thank you for reading <3


	4. Whispers

The whispers in the hallway ate away at him. It tore him down as he placed one foot in front of the other. Why are kids so cruel? Why can’t they see the damage they cause by hushed whispers and silent gazes on each other? This black and white world was already torture enough. Why did he have to face more?

_“He’s so handsome, isn’t he?”_

_“He doesn’t talk, I heard he stopped the day his parents passed away.”_

_“I heard his brother was at fault.”_

_“I bet he has a pretty smile.”_

Each sentence contradicted the other and Sasuke felt like he was going to go insane. How much longer would he have to suffer? How much longer would he have to live with this?

_“Ask him for his number. See what he’s doing this summer.”_

_“What’s the point if he won’t answer?”_

Sasuke turned the corner, the whispers disappearing from his ears. Finally. He let out a breath of air as he pushed open the doors stepping out into the warm air. One more year, just one more year and he would be free of this hell. Free of everyone around him. He could go anywhere. He could do anything.

“Sasuke.”

He turned his head seeing the car that had pulled up. Itachi waiting for him to get in. Waiting to take him home so he could go to his night job. A job that he only took on to support Sasuke. To support any dreams, he may have gained in the years that had passed without a word spoken.

Opening the door, he sat in the seat pulling the belt around him clicking it into place.

“We’re moving.” The words hit Sasuke like a freight train. “I got a job opportunity and I have to take it. I’ve already looked at the schools in the area and found a house for rent. It’s in a nice neighborhood, nice schools, I think you’ll like it.”

How as he supposed to feel? This town was all he had ever known, everything he had ever known had been here along…along with the grave site. The place where Sasuke found himself when he felt like he had no where else to go.

“I know you hate it here. You’re just going through the motions and your therapist thinks it would be a good change. A breath of fresh air as he said. There’s a colleague of his there as well, he thinks he would be a good match for you to continue your sessions and—”

“What…” The words were but a whisper as Sasuke spoke quietly. “What makes you think I want to go anywhere with you?”

Itachi didn’t flinch. Didn’t move a muscle as he continued to drive. Not even a quick glance at Sasuke and that angered him. “What other choice do you have?” It felt like Sasuke had been struck across the face as those words left Itachi’s mouth.

He wanted to reach out, grab the wheel, and drive them off the bridge they were crossing. He wanted anything…anything to hurt him. To make him feel the anger that was boiling inside of him.

“Maybe you’ll even make friends there. Just give it a chance. You only have one more year of high school and after that you’ll be eighteen and you can go off wherever you want. But until then…you’re my responsibility whether you like it or not.”

“I hate it.” Sasuke hissed and glared out the window.

“Why don’t you look on the bright side? No one will even know your name in our new home. You can finally have a fresh start.”

“Have you been talking to my therapist? That’s illegal!” His hand reached for the door handle. He was ready to throw himself out of the car. He didn’t care as long as he got far away from _him_. Far away from Itachi who understood nothing.

“Of course not.”

“Liar.” Sasuke saw the house coming into view a moving truck was already parked outside. Itachi’s speed was slowly decreasing as they entered the neighborhood. Swiftly Sasuke hit the button letting his seat belt fall away and opened the door quickly stepping out of the car tripping and landing in the patch of grass in someone’s yard. When he looked behind him, he saw the car still moving and his brother didn’t even tap the brakes as if he had no concern for Sasuke whatsoever.

He cursed under his breath as he dug his fingers into the ground feeling the dirt sinking under his nails. He laughed bitterly to himself and smacked the ground as if that would make him feel better. Pulling himself together he stood up meeting the gaze of a women staring at him in horror. She must have witnessed what had just happened.

Sasuke shrugged his shoulders and walked on, walked past his house and down the road. He knew when he finally returned home everything would be packed and the house would only echo with emptiness. Until then…he had one last place he needed to go. One last place before Itachi moved them away. He closed his eyes taking in a deep breath.

_Goodbye…Mom…Dad._


	5. Pink in the Night

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I've been super busy this month but I finally have something written out I hope you enjoy <3

The wind was blowing across his face, ruffling his hair in the cold autumn air. It made him shiver. Goosebumps pricked his skin and he let out a silent cry as he buried his face between his knees staring at the shingles underneath him. The sound of a car beeping made him raise his head up seeing that his brother had just gotten home. He stepped out of the car grabbing bags of groceries out of the back seat of the car.

The world felt so small from up here, he wished he could just stay here unmoving forever and watch. Just watch the world pass him by because that’s what the past few months had felt like. Time was moving so fast and flying by him while he stood here…stuck in time and unable to take a step forward.

“Sasuke?” He heard his brother’s voice through the window behind him and let out a sigh. He wasn’t ready to go back inside yet. “Why are you on the roof again?” The voice grew closer and he turned to see his brother popping his head out of the window, his eyes narrowing at him. “It’s forty degrees outside you’re going to get sick.”

Sasuke shrugged his shoulders and looked back out at the streets watching as a car left a driveway two houses down. Watching as a kid ran down the street at lighting speed and further in the distance was a cat happily trotting in the grass jumping on a fence towards his left. Life just moved on with or without you. It didn’t stop for anyone no matter how much you begged it to. What he would give to just freeze time so he could catch up.

“At least…wear a coat.” Sasuke turned to see Itachi setting a jacket near the window before retreating back inside to put the groceries away.

The first time Itachi had found him on the roof he almost had a heart attack. He had just gotten home from work and saw his baby brother standing at the edge of roof staring down at the rose bushes below. It wasn’t like it was that far from the ground if he had happened to fall but Itachi still panicked rushing to the grass below Sasuke trying to calmly talk him into going back inside the way he came.

He didn’t know why but he enjoyed it on the roof so…he continued to crawl out of the window and sat on the roof every single day. Slowly Itachi started to grow used to it and now…now when he went onto the roof Itachi only scolded him and asked him to come inside or not to stay outside for too long. He had even stopped watching him like a hawk and that feeling was a little freeing. It gave him a little peace of mind.

Sasuke stood up feeling the gust of wind blow against him knocking him back just a little, just enough for him to lose his breath. He blinked looking across the street at the house he had been staring at day in and day out for the past three months since they moved here. Moved here away from their family home, away from the only place Sasuke had ever known. 

A glimpse, just a glimpse would be all he needed to make it through the rest of the day he told himself as he waited for something to happen. It was just wishful thinking. Everything was wishful thinking at this point. This wasn’t some fairy tale where you were rescued from your own inner demons by someone else. The house had been empty since they moved here at the start of summer. Supposedly a family lived there but…he had yet to see them. It was a mystery he was trying to solve. Who lived there? What were they like? It gave his mind a break from the torture he put himself through. Gave him something else to obsess over so he could forget his past…just for a little bit.

He had a feeling today would be the day. The day he would see who lived in that house. At ten am this morning a car had pulled into the garage. So, there was someone was in that house. He wanted to know what they looked like. Who they were. Put an end to the mystery that had surrounded him this summer. It was now going on two in the afternoon though and he still hadn’t seen a glimpse of anyone…he needed to get back inside before Itachi decided to drag him in to make sure he had eaten something today.

Just as he was about to turn around and climb back inside the window to his bedroom where he could sink into the mattress before Itachi came to hound him something caught his eye and he stopped squinting at the window that mimicked his own. The world stilled around him and he held his breath as he saw two worn-down sneakers crawl out of the window on the second floor and out came a boy. The wind blowing caused the boy to stumble forward a little and Sasuke let out a gasp his hand reaching out as if he could magically catch him. Stop him from falling on his ass.

The boy let out a loud groan and quickly stood up. He then reached back into the window pulling something out. Sasuke watched as he turned back around and held up a piece of cardboard looking directly at Sasuke. It felt like his entire world stopped as he stared at those bright colors that surrounded him. It was blinding and it took Sasuke a minute to realize there was writing on the cardboard.

_WHAT ARE YOU DOING ON THE ROOF?_

The big black letters on the cardboard were written with little to no grace, resembling a five-year-old instead of a seventeen-year-old. Sasuke wasn’t sure what to say or do, he honestly felt like he had fallen into some crazy fever dream and this couldn’t be real. Not in the slightest.

“Can you read it?!” The boy shouted as loud as he could bringing Sasuke back down to reality. They were so far apart but yet…so close.

Sasuke gave a slow nod at the boy his voice had been stolen away from him and he wasn’t sure how to form words to give a reply.

“Can you hear me?!” The boy shouted again and suddenly there was a flaming red-haired woman rushing out of the front door into the yard screaming at him to get his butt back inside this instant.

Sasuke couldn’t make out what they were yelling at each other the wind was blowing in his ears drowning out the muffled screaming between them. She was bright too…just like he was. Just like he always had been. Why had it been so long since he had seen him? How many years had it been? When did the colors vanish from Sasuke’s world? Was it the day his parents died? And why…why had it decided to finally reappear in front of him?

“Sasuke! Come get lunch!” Sasuke flinched at the booming voice from inside his own house and when he looked back over at the house across the street…no one was there. The roof was empty of him, the front yard was missing the red-haired women and all that was left…was that same car that he had been staring at all morning. “Sasuke?”

“I’m coming.” He growled and turned towards the window going back inside.

Had it been a dream? Had he hallucinated? He wasn’t sure anymore and now he was growing concerned he was starting to confuse reality with his own deluded fantasies.

_You’re supposed to be better…idiot._


End file.
